Francis Bacon became the most expensive contemporary (albeit dead) artist when his triptych of a vulture-ravished man fetched $86.3 million at Sotheby's. Lucian Freud became the most expensive living artist when his munificently fleshy portrait of a civil servant made $33.6 million at Christie's. Takashi Murakami became a really expensive young artist (who now outranks the late  Robert Rauschenberg at auction) when his larger-than-life, very well endowed My Lonesome Cowboy, spewing a cum lasso like a Met-worthy superhero, commanded an astounding triple-estimate $15.2 million at Sotheby's. Bloomberg called it the most expensive ejaculation ever auctioned.

With more than $1.5 billion worth of art sold in New York over the past two weeks, the major auction houses proved that the art market continues in prime form -- riding roughshod over life, love, death, sex, race, flesh, vanity, and vacuum cleaners.  Here are a dozen highlights from the contemporary sales (in descending order) to make Larry Salander shudder:

Francis Bacon's Triptych, 1976: $86.3 million at Sotheby's (estimate: $70 million)

Mark Rothko's No. 15, 1952: $50.4 million at Christie's (estimate: $40/50 million)

Lucian Freud's Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, 1995: $33.6 million at Christie's (estimate: $25/35 million)

Yves Klein's MG 9, circa 1962: $23.6 million at Sotheby's (estimate: $6/8 million)

Takashi Murakami's My Lonesome Cowboy, 1998: $15.2 million at Sotheby's (estimate: $3/4 million)

Robert Rauschenberg's Overdrive, 1963:  $14.6 million at Sotheby's (estimate: $10/15 million)

Jeff Koons' New Hoover Convertibles, New Shelton Wet/Drys 5-gallon, Double Decker, 1981-86:  $11.8 million at Christie's (estimate: $10 million)

Jean-Michel Basquiat's Untitled (Fallen Angel), 1981:  $11.2 million at Phillips de Pury (estimate: $8/12 million)

Richard Prince's Man-Crazy Nurse #2, 2002:  $7.3 million at Christie's (estimate: $6/8 million)

Robert Gober's Untitled (Leg), 1990:  $3.6 million at Phillips de Pury (estimate: $1.2/1.8 million)

Mark Grotjahn's Untitled (Blue Face Grotjahn), 2005:  $1.2 million at Phillips de Pury (estimate: $300/400,000)

Subodh Gupta's Saat Samunder Paar VII, 2003: $825,000 at Sotheby's (estimate: $500/700,000) --KELLY DEVINE THOMAS

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